These days, after work I am mostly confined to home, looking after Vasudha - my pregnant wife who is in her 8th month now. It's been a long wait for both of us. And why just both of us! For all of our families. This 28 December we'll be celebrating our eleventh marriage anniversary. It sounds magnanimous that we've spent a decade together. It's been very eventful otherwise. It's full of ups and downs. We've literally seen all in these eleven years. I became very serious, docile and concerned man. I grew quite well professionally. Vasudha attained maturity too. We both started saving money. And lots more. But there was this big vacuum, which always haunted both of us - vacuum of a child in the family. Now when that vacuum is about to get filled and the everlasting wait is soon to get over, we're both gearing up for a new life. I am really waiting for that moment when I become a father. I've just seen people bringing up their kids and I've (by nature) always been a severe critique of the immaturity of the parents in dealing with a perfect upbringing.
Being brought up in a family where my father has always been very cautious about the balance of culture, modernity, ethics and respect, I am preparing myself to face this daunting task.
Daunting! But why? Because the time is different. I was born in times when Radio was the popular medium of entertainment. There weren't ant TVs, Computers and Internet around. Today, its different. We are a technologically superior world now. Even classrooms are going virtual today. In my times, it was a low-cost schooling, with little or no peer pressure for luxurious life. Today, the situation is different. I see kids wearing trendy clothes everyday. They want to go abroad for spending their vacations. As a father with a middle-class orientation and upbringing, it would be damn difficult for me to cope up with these changes.
I have seen days where market was just 'once-in-a-month' affair till the time I learnt to ride a bicycle. Today, the kids want to routinely visit malls, eat outside, and celebrate their birthdays in style at McDonalds or Pizza Hut. I don't remember celebrating any of my birthdays after class three. Even before, my mother used to call a lot of family friends (and fortunate me to have their kids) for a home party...mostly Lunch (not so lavish) and that was the party. We had this sweet shop called 'Brijwasi' at Ganga Mandir (a market in Bharatpur) from which we got 'Chocolate Barfi' and 'Gulab Jamun' and that was the pinnacle of this fiesta. Today, ask any kid to settle with anything less than a up market McDonalds or Pizza Hut party and you'll face the ire of your own kids. Amidst these hostile and untoward situations, we're waiting for our child to come into this beautiful world.
Without making it public, I spend time with myself to prepare myself to grapple with this situation and make efforts to keep my child away from these distractions. I am not averse of the children using technology to their advantage but we all know a tender mind can be the easiest target for getting lost.
Anyway, that's still a very futuristic thought. For now we are waiting for our angel to come to us on this earth and hope that time is not too far.
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2 comments:
Congratulations, wish you and your wife good luck for the days to come.
I would like to tell you couple of things from my experience.
1. With the first born, a parent is born. Never have I realise this more than after having the first child. Parenthood will come more easily to your wife, since she is already a mother for these nine months. It will take a while before it hits you.
2. You may want to restrict, or forcefully drive desired behaviour in your children but be ware, children not only learn things at home, but in his / her environment which may / may not be influenced by you. The best you can do is, give your child the tools to take decision, to make decisions that drive them towards informed decisions.
thanks bro! as ever very useful comments and very sensible advice on how to conduct ourselves as parents. I think I totally agree with your thoughts. What we have gone through in our generation its not necessary to force our children to go through the same. Times have changed and are going to be tougher as much. But will keep your opinion in mind.
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